Bailiwick Date

Terms & Conditions

This agreement sets out the terms and conditions under which Guernsey Futu ( offers you use of this website, please read it carefully. By using the services on the site ( you agree that you have read and accepted these terms and conditions and that they shall apply to you use. If you do not wish to be bound by them please leave this website.

This Agreement is made between you and Guernsey Futu (

Guernsey Futu is a satire news site – this means that all the stories are for entertainment and are not true.  Guernsey Futu accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information – it is fictional, not accurate and intended for entertainment purposes only.

From time to time you may be asked to register your details with us in order to receive products or services or to enter competitions or to access certain areas of the site. When you do, additional terms and conditions will apply.

Website Use

To use this website  you to agree to these terms and conditions, and any additional terms and conditions which shall apply to your use of

When using you agree:

not to do anything which will or might damage, interfere with, disrupt access to, interrupt or impair the functionality of the material available on the site;

to be entirely responsible for and keep secret any password used by you. You should change your password if you believe it’s no longer secret;

not to post, distribute or otherwise upload any defamatory, offensive, infringing, obscene, indecent or otherwise unlawful or objectionable material or information or send any chain letters, junk mail, ‘spamming’ material or any other form of bulk communication;

not to threaten, harass, stalk, abuse, disrupt or otherwise violate the rights of others, including individuals’ privacy rights; not to make any unauthorised, false or fraudulent orders, bookings or request for services;

not to obtain or attempt to obtain unauthorised access to the sites or any private or member account areas on the sites;

not do, cause or permit anything to be done that may infringe, damage or interfere with any intellectual property rights of Guernsey Futu or any of our associated companies or third parties. Also, not to do anything that is otherwise unlawful or which may cause any liability for us.

If you send us or post any material or other information to you agree Guernsey Futu will not treat this information as confidential and we will be free to keep and republish this information and reuse it as we see fit. You agree to give up your rights to be identified as the author of this information and to object to any use of this information by us.

Why you need to stick to these terms and conditions

If we consider that you have breached any of these terms and conditions or have otherwise demonstrated inappropriate conduct when using the Guernsey Futu website we reserve the right to:

delete any material or content which you may have posted without notice to you;

discontinue your membership and other related subscriptions to additional services offered through the site; and

take measures (including terminating, suspending or restricting your access) to prevent you from using

If your conduct on or use of causes us loss, damage or other costs, you shall be responsible for reimbursing these costs.

Our promise to you

Nothing in these terms and conditions affects your legal rights as a consumer.

It’s important to note that using the Internet does have its dangers. We take reasonable steps to ensure a fast and reliable service, but we can’t be held responsible for:

the security of

for any damage, loss of, or corruption of any data, information or material or viruses that may infect your computer equipment or other property

breach of security by hackers as a result of your use of
We are not responsible for any injury, loss, claim, damage, or any indirect, incidental or consequential damages of any kind (including but not limited to lost profits, lost savings or revenue, or loss or corruption of data or information) which arises out of or is in any way connected with your use of or failure to use This includes any information, products or services obtained through or any contract entered into via

From time to time we may need to update the content on and/or maintain the software and other equipment that runs the site. During these times you may not be able to access the sites or things may be a bit slower than normal. If this happens, please try us again later.

Got a complaint? Here are your legal rights

Your use of and these terms and conditions, is subject to the laws of the Bailiwick of Guernsey and we reserve the right to bring proceedings to the Courts of the country of your location.

If you are at all dissatisfied with any aspect of the site then please contact If you have any complaints about the products or services that you receive from using the site, then please tell us. If you want to contact us about anything then please click here to visit the Contact Us section.

Links to other sites

We may provide links to other websites, resources, advertisements or sponsorships either directly or through our contractual partners. We hope that you find these links useful.

If you decide to access other websites, then you will be leaving – that means that we won’t be responsible or liable for the content, advertising or products or services available from such sites or, for any dealings that you may have, or the consequences of such dealings, with the operators of those sites. Should a dispute arise between you and any third party, we’ll do our best to help you resolve it, but we can’t be responsible for any loss or damage.

We expressly reserve the right to withdraw our consent, at any time, to a link that we think is inappropriate.

Intellectual Property Rights

The Guernsey Futu name and logo may not be used without Guernsey Futu’s written permission.

This also applies to all copyright, trademark rights, database rights, patent rights and any other intellectual property rights in text, graphics, audio, video or image files, content, software, data and information displayed on, or available from This includes the organisation and layout of the site and the underlying software that’s owned by us or our licensors and suppliers. You agree that all these materials are available for your personal use only, and you may not copy, modify, alter, publish, broadcast, distribute, sell or transfer any such materials without our written permission.

Our Privacy Policy

We may ask you to provide personal information about you. For more detailed information on how collects and processes your personal data see our Privacy Policy.

Changes to these terms and conditions

These terms and conditions may be amended, updated and/or modified by us from time to time. You’ll still need to agree to them, so it’s a good idea to keep checking back here to stay up to date.

If you keep visiting us here at then we’ll take that as confirmation that you have agreed to the new terms and conditions.

Last updated: March 1st 2010

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Guernsey Futu is un-intended for readers aged un-der 18 :: ©2011 :: All rights Reserved. Content may not be reproduced without permission.